I was on a panel this past weekend talking about social media and how our lives feel so curated. Remember the days when I would just post a photo of an apple and be like, "I feel like crap today so I just ate this apple because if I ate what I really wanted - APPLE PIE - I know I would binge and I hate that I'm not over bingeing yet because I'm supposed to be a body image activist but the truth is life is so complicated and hard?"
Life feels hard again. I haven't been struggling with depression for a long time but lately I've been feeling it. I always get this way around pilot/Oscar season because it's a reminder I'm nowhere near where I have always dreamed I'd be at this point. I have been doing this long enough that I know I "shouldn't" care and I know what's really important (certainly not auditions and bookings). And I know happiness isn't about validation or even a paycheck. But I'm still hurting. And I see my sadness manifesting in old ways - the nagging hunger of fill-my-belly-even-though-it's-already-full. So I'm acknowledging it.
Tonight I made this meal to compensate for my feelings - I just wanted to make something delicious and hearty that wouldn't cause my stomach and skin to erupt in defiance after eating it.
Surprisingly, it's awesome. I basically dry-roasted a bunch of veggies (seasonings only, no oil) and then made a sauce out of some of the roasted cauliflower.
It was so good, and so nurturing. I feel like I made a new best friend.
Roasted Vegetables with Cauliflower Sauce
2 Zucchinis, Chopped
1 Pint Cherry Tomatoes
1 Head of Broccoli, Chopped
1 Head of Cauliflower, Chopped
2 Cloves Garlic, Whole
1/3-1/2 cup Dairy-Free Milk (I used Cashew)
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Tablespoon Nutritional Yeast
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray two 9x11 nonstick pans.
In one pan, toss the zucchini, tomato, and broccoli with a tablespoon of taco seasoning, plus salt and pepper. Add the cauliflower and garlic cloves to the other pan and sprinkle onion salt on top.
Roast the vegetables for 40 minutes, turning once halfway through cooking.
In a high speed blender, combine half the roasted cauliflower, the garlic cloves, and the cashew milk, salt, nutritional yeast, olive oil. Puree until smooth, scraping down the sides and adding more milk if necessary.
Serve the roasted vegetables with the cauliflower sauce on top. Add more nutritional yeast if desired.